My Week of Meditation : Day 4

I recently shared a few of my meditation experiences.  I had this crazy idea that I would - for seven days - give a little insight into my morning meditation practice.

Interestingly I managed three days .. and then life took off and I haven't had a chance to sit and write something.  An excellent result really because it puts me back into the role of meditation beginner where I have a chance to experience what many beginners say to me ... 'life got in the way'!

I now have a list of hastily scrawled notes next to my bed, meant to remind me of what that morning practice 'tasted' like .. but this mornings practice feels fresh in my mind and I have some time to share. 

the Onion

The ideal attitude for our meditation is one of openness .. open to whatever comes up, whichever direction our meditation takes.  This is easier said than done .. especially on those days when we really, really want a quiet and simply blissful meditation.

Wanting, pushing, cajoling, forcing .. won't work.  I have found that we essentially get the meditation we need.   

And this morning I learnt again (because I experienced this very strongly earlier in my life) that even in moments when I am aware of a very deep sense of relaxation and quietness of mind .. there are always deeper LAYERS underneath.   Like an onion.

Did you know that the artist Enya says that her album Shepherd Moons has about 500 layered vocal tracks.  Our minds are just like that .. layers and layers of thinking and sensing and feeling that we have yet to uncover and become aware of .. we might sense non-thinking but in fact, quietly, in the background, deep within .. we are usually thinking.

In my meditation this morning I experienced a very strong and quite inspiring awareness of 

layers dissolving

I watched my inhalation and exhalation .. inhalation and exhalation .. and observed a constant shedding of layers.

No sooner did I feel a confident settling into the moment .. than another window of letting go appeared. I knew better than to try to grab or hold onto what I sensed.  I just continued to rest my awareness on my breath, still being distracted and still returning to my breath but acutely aware that by letting go .. I was in fact letting go .. deeper and deeper.  Ever deeper.

Quite magical but regardless .. tomorrow I shall return to my cushion and just meditate.

How are you going with your meditation?